


expressing unneeded emotions

by orphan_account



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Shinji receives an android meant to store and dispose of his negative feelings, and things go slightly better than one might expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	expressing unneeded emotions

You’re washing the dishes when you hear the knock at the door. It’s nearly nine o’clock, and you haven’t been expecting anyone. No one except Misato visits you, and that’s only when she’s too drunk to drag herself home.

“Coming!” you call, and quickly dry your hands on a dish towel before heading for the door and pulling it open.

You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this.

There’s a boy about your age standing there with a calm smile on his face. He’s dressed in a simple button down and dark pants. His hair is a mess of greyish white, and his eyes glimmer in the dark. 

You move a bit to let the light shine more fully, and realize his eyes are a softly glowing red. He’s very well made—it would be almost impossible to tell, if not for the contrast of the night. 

Fully functional robots aren’t uncommon, these days. They’re used for everything from manual labor to saving notes and data. But it’s rare to find any androids that mimic the human form so well. It unsettles most people, so most of the humanoid models are painted to look as machine-like as possible. 

This one, however, looks perfectly human, aside from the eyes. Even the skin looks soft and ordinary, and the smile on its lips is easy and natural.

“Excuse me,” the android says, and his gentle voice puts emphasis on all the right syllables. “You are Ikari Shinji, yes?”

You blink, trying to focus on the situation at hand. “Yeah,” you manage. “That’s me,”

“I see,” is the satisfied response, and its head tilts up a bit as it stands straighter. “My name is Nagisa Kaworu. I am an android whose purpose is to store negative emotions and feelings within my self. I was sent to this location by Ikari Gendou, who commissioned my creation,”

Your father hasn’t spoken to you in six years. The last time was a voicemail informing you that he would not be attending your middle school graduation.

You shove that to the back of your mind and force a smile. “I’m afraid I don’t have any need for something like that,” you say politely. 

“I’m sorry,” the android—Kaworu—replies, equally friendly. “I don’t have a choice in the matter, you see. But there’s no need for you to use me unless you need to,” There’s a glimmer of sincerity in those artificially lit eyes that you must be imagining. You almost want to think he’s human, after all. 

You sigh, resisting the urge to rub your head. You can almost feel a headache coming on, but you hold the door open a little wider all the same. “In that case, please come in,” you say as calmly as possible. What you’d really like to do is slam the door and go back to your daily routine—the one you’ve kept up successfully for years now. But there’s no way you can just leave the android standing outside your door like some unwanted package.

It just looks too human for comfort, you decide, as you watch it remove its shoes and step carefully over the threshold. 

“I was just doing the dishes,” you say, a little nervously. “After that, I’ll probably just go to sleep or something. I can put out the futon for you, if you want…”

“That’s fine,” Kaworu says. “I can sleep wherever you like,”

“Uhm…” you glance around the tiny apartment, and wonder if you can fit it in the living room. Chances are you probably can’t, considering how close the couch is to the television set. “I think it will have to be my room. If you don’t mind,” You feel ridiculous at that—of course it doesn’t mind.

“No,” Kaworu replies agreeably. “Whatever you think is best,”

“All right then,” you say uneasily—you’re not used to having guests, let alone ones who are so quick to let you take charge. “I’ll just finish up, and then get that set up,” You turn away, toward the kitchen, when you hear a beeping noise behind you.

You look back to find Kaworu’s eyes curiously dull, his face blank. It’s odd how much less human he looks with these changes—you hadn’t even noticed his facial expressions changing just as a human’s would.

“My sensors have indicated you are under a medium level emotional distress,” Kaworu says, but the voice is tinny and automated—there’s no inflection at all. “Would you like to transfer negative emotions at this time?”

You stare for a few seconds, fascinated by the strange transformation. Then you remember you’re supposed to be answering a question. “Uhm. No,” you say hastily. “It’s fine,”

Kaworu’s head cocks to one side, but his face remains blank. “Would you like to log this level of emotional distress as ‘normal’?” 

You think for a few seconds—sure, you’re feeling out of sorts and a little nervous, but it’s nothing completely out of the ordinary. “Yes, please,”

“Emotional level has been logged. The system has been updated,” says the same mechanical voice. “Thank you,”  
You watch carefully as Kaworu’s expression returns, and his eyes brighten again. It’s very strange, to see his features start moving again after staying so still.

“I’m sorry. The emotional distress system works independently until the levels of distress are logged,” Kaworu says, and his voice is soft and human again. 

“it’s all right,” you tell him. “We can sort it out in the morning, if that’s okay,”

“Yes,” Kaworu says simply, and there’s a smile on his face. You find you kind of like the expression, but then shake your head.

Nothing good can come of thinking of this android as human, especially when it was sent by your father. You plunge yourself into dishwashing to drown out the doubts. When you’re done, you wash the soap from your fingers and unroll the futon beside your own bed.

When you’re finally ready for bed, you find yourself feeling oddly peaceful. Kaworu is settled as well, wearing a pair of your shorts and the t-shirt he’d been wearing beneath his button-down. He smiles at you and wishes you a good night before lying back and closing his eyes. 

He breathes as he lies there in the dark—it slows and evens as time goes on. You find yourself falling asleep to the gentle rise and fall of it.

Your dreams are warm and gentle, and you wake up smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this AU is based off a Vocaloid PV by Lettuce-P called Cross×Story.


End file.
